I want to bring my entire life to a screeching hault. I want to stop going to work. I want to quit refilling my car with gas. I want everything to rust and break apart. I want to stay in my room for months and stop showering or cleaning anything, and I want all my old dishes to attract bugs and begin to mold. I want everything to be as bad as it can be. I want everyone to hate me, and then forget me. Then I want my hair to fall out and my teeth to rot and turn all black. I want to pull off my fingernails. I want sores all over my body and I just want to decay. In every way possible.
This is the idea that’s creeped into my head in the last month or so, and I can’t seem to shake it. The strangest part is how excited it makes me when I replay all of this in my head. Eh..